<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>the world will always be there (and so will i) by impossible_year</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24419257">the world will always be there (and so will i)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/impossible_year/pseuds/impossible_year'>impossible_year</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, a bit of angst, not a lot of angst tho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:29:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,065</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24419257</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/impossible_year/pseuds/impossible_year</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes even the strongest of princes feel insecure. Sometimes a prince has to deal with the kinds of monsters that can’t be dealt with by simply using a sword.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the world will always be there (and so will i)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“-and that’s how I convinced our math teacher to give me an A on our midterm!” Remus finished his story with an overly dramatic wink, directed towards Logan specifically, and leaned back in his chair while everyone else around the lunch table groaned in disgust. </p>
<p>“This is exactly why I didn’t want you to become friends with my friends. Everyone is disgusted by your stories!” Roman sent a cold glare in his brother's direction, but Remus was quick to retort. </p>
<p>“Actually, not everyone! My boyfriend loves my stories! Right, Lo?” The boy in question choked on his sandwich at being referred to as Remus’ boyfriend, something he was not quite used to yet, but was quick to compose himself. This led to explosive laughter from Remus and Virgil, and more exasperated chuckles from Logan and Patton. Janus only rolled his eyes fondly before looking over at Roman. </p>
<p>Roman was stirring his salad around absentmindedly, paying no attention to whatever the conversation topic had become. Janus took note of this but didn’t want to bring it up in front of everyone, instead, he made a mental note to bring it up with him later. </p>
<p>Rather than directly addressing his unusual silence at the moment, Janus opted to instead tap Roman’s leg with his leg just to see if he would respond. Feeling the tapping on his leg, Roman’s head snapped up. Upon seeing that it was Janus who tapped his leg, he flashed his most charming grin and a quick wink before going back to his salad. Although the smile and wink were admittedly charming, it wasn’t enough to convince Janus that everything was alright with Roman. In fact, it was just enough that Janus decided this was something he wanted to address now, just not here. </p>
<p>“I’m gonna go get some more fries, Roman would you like to come with me?” Though he was confused, Roman stood up and followed Janus to the other side of the cafeteria. </p>
<p>“So, why’d you ask me to come with you?” Roman asked once they were out of earshot of the others. </p>
<p>“Well, your brother and Logan are too busy being gross together, and Virgil and Patton are seemingly engaged in their own conversation that you weren’t a part of, so I thought I’d get you away from there.” </p>
<p>“That’s not the only reason though, is it? I mean, you could’ve gotten your fries by yourself.” Janus didn’t reply immediately, thinking about what he wanted to say next. </p>
<p>“Do you mind coming for a walk with me?” Roman simply nodded, and Janus led them out of the cafeteria and towards the quieter part of the building. Roman didn’t ask any questions, just followed Janus who seemed to have a plan. </p>
<p>Once the pair had found their way to the quieter side of the school, Janus sat down on the first bench he found, Roman followed suit. They sat in silence for a little while, watching as students walked by them hurriedly. </p>
<p>“What’s up?” Roman asked, turning to focus on Janus. </p>
<p>“I should be asking you the same thing,” he replied, still watching people pass by. When Roman didn’t reply, Janus turned in his seat so that they were both facing each other. “Is everything okay, Roman?” Seemingly takes aback by the question, Roman’s gaze fell to his feet. “I’m only asking because you haven’t been your normal princely self. You’ve been quieter at lunch, and you haven’t been saying much in the group chat. I just want to make sure you’re doing alright.”</p>
<p>Plastering a clearly fake smile on his face, Roman sat up straight. “Everything‘s just fine, Jan, but I appreciate your concern. You’re a great... friend.” The word ‘friend’ sounded awkward as Roman said it, and Janus felt a pit form in his stomach. He didn’t just want to be Roman’s friend, but of course, he’d never admit that out loud. </p>
<p>“Are you sure? Being the liar in the group is my brand, so you’re going to have to be honest with me.” </p>
<p>“Listen, I promise everything is fine.” Roman buried his face in his hands, attempting to hide the angry blush slowly rising on his cheeks, neck, and ears. </p>
<p>“Oh of course. I believe you one hundred percent, Roman. All of that bravado and all of the theatrics, how could any of that ever lead me to believe that you’re hiding some deeper, more negative feelings. How silly of me indeed.” Janus rolled his eyes dramatically and was about to follow up with more sarcasm until Roman spoke again. </p>
<p>“So what if I do have some deeper, more negative feelings like you think?” Roman was clearly growing more and more frustrated as he spoke. “What‘s it to you? Maybe all of my ‘bravado’ and ‘theatrics’ doesn’t have you fooled, but it certainly has everyone else back at our table fooled, and that’s enough for me. They don’t need to worry about me, and you definitely don’t need to worry about me. I appreciate the concern, Janus, but I don’t have any deep-rooted emotions or feelings that I need to talk about. I’m fine.” He all but snapped those last two words, refusing to meet Janus’ gaze. </p>
<p>Moments ago, Janus had a hard expression on his face. There were no distinct emotions, it was nearly impossible to tell what he was really thinking. Now? Now Janus’ expression had softened. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he watched Roman nervously. Roman had his hands in his lap and he was angrily picking at his cuticles. The silence between the two of them was thick and uncomfortable. </p>
<p>“Roman...” Janus began to speak but stopped when he realized that he was unsure of what to follow up with. Roman looked up, finally meeting his eyes, and Janus finally noticed that Roman had been crying. His eyes were red and watery around the edges, but it wasn’t something that a bit of cold water and makeup couldn’t fix. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.” He stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder, then held out his hand to help Roman up. Roman was hesitant to take Janus’s hand but ended up walking hand in hand with him to the washroom. </p>
<p>Janus tried his best to ignore the burning feeling on his face as his hand remained intertwined with Roman’s; he tried to ignore how impossibly soft and strong Roman’s hands were. None of that was important to the task at hand, and this was something Janus had to remind himself of frequently. What mattered right now was Janus getting Roman to feel better, and possibly getting him to open up. </p>
<p>The boy's bathroom was empty, which was not unusual; this specific bathroom was always empty but no one really knew why that was. This was ideal for their situation because now they could talk and not have to worry about anyone eavesdropping. </p>
<p>Roman let go of Janus’ hand and leaned against the tile wall, slowly sinking down until he was sitting on the floor. He brought his knees up to his chest and put his head down. Janus sat down next to him without saying a word. Outside, the bell rang and everyone began heading to where they had to be next. To Janus and Roman, arriving to class on time was the least of their concerns. Only once did someone open the door while the two were in there, some odd freshman in a bright orange jacket, but he left as soon as he saw the two boys on the floor. </p>
<p>Janus wasn’t sure how long they had been in there, but he was startled when Roman broke the silence. </p>
<p>“Janus? I’m sorry.” Roman had lifted his head off of his knees but wasn’t looking at Janus. He just stared straight ahead. </p>
<p>“Because I absolutely know what you’re apologizing for, Roman. I love it when you’re vague.” When Janus saw the expression on Roman’s face, he sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to be sarcastic. There’s a time and place for that, and right now this is not the time nor place. What’re you sorry for?”</p>
<p>Roman was slow to respond, carefully formulating his response. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry... that I made you worry. I didn’t expect it to come to this.” Janus nodded slowly, understandingly. Roman sighed deeply. “I guess this is the part where I explain to you everything that’s going on up here,” he said, only half-jokingly, and tapped on the side of his head. </p>
<p>“Only if you want to,” Janus told him, worried that Roman might feel as though Janus was pressuring him into talking about it. Of course, Janus wanted to know what Roman was going through, but only if Roman wanted to tell him. </p>
<p>“No, no, it’s fine. I probably should talk about it at some point, and right now is as good a time as any. Besides, I want to tell you.” Janus didn’t reply, only nodded and shifted his body so that he was facing Roman. Roman did the same. </p>
<p>“Whenever you’re ready.” Janus didn’t want to push him into talking about it, but they were already so close. He didn’t want Roman to back away now. </p>
<p>“I’m a very... insecure person, in case you haven’t noticed by now. I just need to feel liked by everyone all of the time. People tell me all the time that I shouldn’t worry about what people think of me, that this is high school and in a few years I won’t even remember a majority of these people. Quite frankly, that all sounds impossible. I really do try to not think about what people’s opinions on me are, but that’s nearly impossible some days. Most of the time it’s not even the strangers in this school that I worry about, I know I’ll probably never see them again and that’s fine, but it’s mainly what you think of me and what our other friends think of me. Of course I care about what everyone else thinks, but you all are different. You guys are the closest people in my life, meaning if I’m afraid one of you doesn’t like me then I start to panic and then I think none of you like me or want me around anymore. </p>
<p>Ever since my brother started hanging around us and became a part of our group, I’ve felt like he’s been stealing the spotlight. Everyone thinks he’s so funny, even if he is extremely weird sometimes, and even Logan has been more open around him. I know I shouldn’t be jealous of their relationship, I don’t like Logan like that, but he’s never been that open around me before. I should be happy for him, right? Even if he’s never been that open around me, he’s still one of my oldest friends and I should be happy for him. Sorry, I kinda went off on a tangent there. I guess what I’m trying to say is... I feel replaceable. Like once we graduate, you guys won’t remember me. You’ll all move on and go off on your grand adventures and you won’t remember me. Janus, I don’t want to be forgotten.”</p>
<p>Hearing Roman talk about this, hearing him be this open about his issues, it was strange for Janus. A strange sensation weighed in his chest; he was glad to no longer be kept in the dark but was shocked at how long Roman had been keeping this in. He was especially shocked at how easily he opened up. </p>
<p>“Roman I... I wish I knew this sooner, but thank you for telling me this at all. I’m sure that wasn’t difficult at all.” At this comment, Roman chuckled tiredly. </p>
<p>“Of course it wasn’t difficult, it was a breeze.”<br/>
He paused to laugh at his own joke.“So much for this not being the time nor place for sarcasm.” The sarcasm in Roman’s voice was thick, Janus would have been impressed if only the conversation wasn’t so serious and they weren’t using sarcasm as a way of not saying how they truly feel. </p>
<p>They sat in silence, neither knowing what to say next. Janus had a lot of things that he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure how to say them or even if he should say them. </p>
<p>“I’d never forget you,” Janus blurted out. This surprised both himself and Roman. </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I said I’d never forget you. You really aren’t as replaceable as you might think. Sure your brother knows how to get a reaction out of us, but he isn’t you. You’re loyal and strong and, if I’m being honest, a lot better looking.”</p>
<p>“But we’re twins?” Janus quieted Roman with a teasing glare. </p>
<p>“As I was saying, you’re not your brother; he’s not gonna replace you anytime soon. Our group has so many unique qualities, and you contribute to that more than you know. I’m so, so sorry that you ever had to feel like you were replaceable. You’re my hero, Roman.” </p>
<p>A pink tint slowly appeared on Roman’s cheeks. </p>
<p>“Thanks. That really means a lot, especially coming from you.” Now it was Janus’ turn to blush. They sat in silence once again, but this time the silence wasn’t as thick or painful, it was a comfortable silence that neither felt the need to fill. This didn’t last long before Roman spoke up again. </p>
<p>“So, uh, have you found a date for grad yet?” Roman asked, nervously watching for Janus’ reaction. He just scoffed and rolled his eyes. </p>
<p>“Moving the focus off of you?” He paused. “No, actually I haven’t. My social circle really only consists of our group, and I doubt any of you would be interested in taking me. Remus and Logan are obviously going together, Patton probably managed to convince Virgil to go with him somehow, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you had men lined up to go with you. I’m still gonna go, obviously, but I’ll be saving a whole lot more money since I don’t have to spend anything for anyone.” There was a pause as Janus laughed to himself. “So who’s the lucky man going to the ball with Prince Charming?”</p>
<p>When asked about who he would be taking to their graduation celebration, Roman swallowed thickly. </p>
<p>“Actually, I was wondering if you would be my date to grad.”</p>
<p>Janus froze, unable to tear his gaze away from Roman. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, what?” He asked once he was finally able to speak. “You want me to be your date for grad?” Roman only nodded. “Hold on, are you asking me in a romantic way or in a friend way because you feel bad for me since I don’t have a date?”</p>
<p>“No actually this is because I really like you, in a romantic way, and I really want you to be my date to grad.” Roman inhaled sharply, attempting to muster up all of the courage he could possibly have in this situation. “Janus, we’ve been friends for a long while, no one knows me as well as you do, especially after today. Even if you are sarcastic and cynical a lot of the time, you can also be a really kind person. You’re an intelligent and honest person, but not in the same way as Logan. You know how to word things so that even if something you’re saying isn’t pleasant, whoever you’re telling it to will be more inclined to listen. You’re an absolutely outstanding person, Jan, and I’d be so extremely lucky if you’d agree to come with me to grad.” Both Roman and Janus were silent now. “So? What do you think?”</p>
<p>Janus leaned in close and put his thumb under Roman’s chin. </p>
<p>“I think you talk a little too much sometimes.” </p>
<p>Janus moved in and connected the space between him and Roman. Their first kiss wasn’t exactly film worthy, it was on the floor of a school bathroom after all, but neither of them would have it any other way. Both boys felt an intense feeling of euphoria during this moment and never wanted this moment to end. Of course, all good things must come to an end though. </p>
<p>There was a knock on the bathroom door, and it slowly creaked open. The two boys paid no mind to it, thinking that whoever was coming in would see them and walk back out. </p>
<p>“Janus? Roman?” A familiar voice called out to them, but they didn’t hear it. “You guys’ve been missing for an entire period, so if you’re done making out in here I’d really appreciate it if you- oh fuck you guys really are making out in here. Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” Virgil’s laughter echoed in the small bathroom as Janus and Roman jumped up and separated. </p>
<p>“Did you need something, Virgil?” Janus asked cooly, pretending as though he had not just been caught making out with Roman in the school bathroom. Roman simply stood beside Janus, staring down at the floor and trying to make the redness of his face go down. </p>
<p>Virgil, still standing at the door, was shaking with laughter. Roman and Janus were not amused. </p>
<p>“No I- I was just coming to see if you guys wanted to get out of here since we’re on spare now, Patton covered for you two last period by the way, but it looks like you two have other plans! I’ll see you guys with the rest of the group at my place tonight though, right?” Without even waiting for an answer, Virgil turned quickly and walked off. Not long after he left, both Roman and Janus felt their phones vibrate. </p>
<p>‘looks like Roman and Janus have dates for grad now ;)’ Virgil had sent to their group chat. </p>
<p>“We’re gonna get bombarded with questions tonight,” mused Roman, seemingly not too worried about that. His phone vibrated again. Another text from Virgil, but this time only to him. “Virge said that if we still wanna get out of here and spend the rest of the afternoon with him then we have ten minutes to get to his car or he’s leaving without us.” Janus hummed thoughtfully. </p>
<p>“Well then, do you wanna leave? Seems like everything is sorted out now, if I may be so bold to say so.” Roman slipped his hand into Janus’ hand and just laughed. </p>
<p>“Let’s go, I don’t need to stop at my locker.”</p>
<p>“Perfect, neither do I.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Another Ben Platt lyric for my title? Wow this might become my thing.<br/>Anyways I love Roman dearly which means I had to make him sad and project all of my fears and worries on to him, I’m sure y’all know how it is lmao<br/>(Thank you all for the support on my last short fic, it gave me the confidence I needed to post this!)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>